Origin
Well, this is where it all begins. I hope you all will forgive me for any gramatical errors I make in this blog as I am sure I will be typing it late at night, as it is after 2 AM and I am just starting it now. Typical college student, huh? My hope for this blog is that it will help me discern God's call in my life so that I know if I should proceed to graduate school in Psychology after I graduate from college or if I should enter the seminary. Futhermore, I hope that others may find this blog and help me through this process through their comments (which are always encouraged). Lastly, I hope that this blog can help people understand why someone in this day and age would want to become a Catholic priest and possibly help others discern their own call to the priesthood.
Where to start? No, I am not some psycho Catholic who does nothing wrong; I have plenty of faults and I have my own struggles with sin. If anything, I am not worthy of this call, it isn't that I feel that I neccesarily would make a good priest. I think I could be a good priest in time, but I think I have a long ways to go! This also isn't something that I neccesarily have wanted or have planned for, it just is something that won't go away. If it were solely up to me I would just go for my Ph.D in Psychology and somewhere along the line hopefully find the right woman and get married and start a family; that is how I have pictured my future and that is what I have planned for. I have been doing all the right things to position myself for graduate school and I will continue to do so as I am yet unsure of what turns God has planned for my life.
So if I don't neccesarily want to be a priest and I feel I am unworthy of this calling, why would I ever consider being a priest? If it were up to us we probably wouldn't have any priests, the Catholic priesthood is a very hard thing to choose because of all you have to give up. You give up your life essentially to God to serve him and his people and while I don't want to overstate the sacrifice (as you obviously still have a lot of freedom) there is a lot that you do give up. Anyways, back to the point... this is not a ministry that you choose but rather it chooses you (at least in my case). I could go on, become a psychologist, and be perfectly happy but something just doesn't feel right with that. It is hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced something similar, but my call is like this annoying little voice in my head that won't go away. I don't want to say my call is a bad thing, it isn't, it very well may be God's will in my life and if it is I will follow it. What I am saying is it is not neccesarily what we want (or think we want) but rather it is what we are called to do. It may not be our own choice for our lives, but it may be God's choice, and as such we must follow if we want to be truly happy in life. I know this isn't clear but I can go into the calling more if you wish, just post in the comments section.
The priesthood is something I have felt called to for years; really as far back as I can remember. I know my call started in grade school and it was just something that grew with me, even when I didn't want it. I wanted my freedom, I wanted to do what I wanted, and I often tried to ignore this feeling within me telling me that I may need to be a priest. I really feel sorry for the Archdiocese of Denver who has had to put up with me because I keep succombing to the call, getting in contact with them, and then deciding it wasn't for me. I can't even tell you how many times I have told them that it isn't for me and to get out of my life; it is several. I know that is harsh but I told you, I have fought this call. I thought about entering the seminary out of high school but the timing just didn't feel right, maybe due to my own stubborness, I am not sure. Either way, I went to college and made my share of mistakes; once again ignoring my call. Yet, I have finally gotten to the point where I can't keep fighthing but rather I need to start exploring this possibility; I need to know once and for all if I am meant to be a priest. Even though this may not be how I pictured my life, I need to know if this is what God fashioned me to be.
I want to invite you on this journey with me. I will try to keep this blog updated fairly frequently with my journey as I explore the idea of becoming a priest as well as read the many books which the Archdiocese gave me in my last meeting with them. Please forgive me if there are gaps of time in my journal, it is just because I have gotten really busy with school (Notre Dame can do that to you) or once again I am fighting my possible calling. Either way, I will be back soon, I always have been. This is something I must investigate and I won't be able to go on until I know. I look forward to being on this journey with you; please feel free to post any comments or questions in the comments section and I will do what I can to answer them as I go on.
Where to start? No, I am not some psycho Catholic who does nothing wrong; I have plenty of faults and I have my own struggles with sin. If anything, I am not worthy of this call, it isn't that I feel that I neccesarily would make a good priest. I think I could be a good priest in time, but I think I have a long ways to go! This also isn't something that I neccesarily have wanted or have planned for, it just is something that won't go away. If it were solely up to me I would just go for my Ph.D in Psychology and somewhere along the line hopefully find the right woman and get married and start a family; that is how I have pictured my future and that is what I have planned for. I have been doing all the right things to position myself for graduate school and I will continue to do so as I am yet unsure of what turns God has planned for my life.
So if I don't neccesarily want to be a priest and I feel I am unworthy of this calling, why would I ever consider being a priest? If it were up to us we probably wouldn't have any priests, the Catholic priesthood is a very hard thing to choose because of all you have to give up. You give up your life essentially to God to serve him and his people and while I don't want to overstate the sacrifice (as you obviously still have a lot of freedom) there is a lot that you do give up. Anyways, back to the point... this is not a ministry that you choose but rather it chooses you (at least in my case). I could go on, become a psychologist, and be perfectly happy but something just doesn't feel right with that. It is hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced something similar, but my call is like this annoying little voice in my head that won't go away. I don't want to say my call is a bad thing, it isn't, it very well may be God's will in my life and if it is I will follow it. What I am saying is it is not neccesarily what we want (or think we want) but rather it is what we are called to do. It may not be our own choice for our lives, but it may be God's choice, and as such we must follow if we want to be truly happy in life. I know this isn't clear but I can go into the calling more if you wish, just post in the comments section.
The priesthood is something I have felt called to for years; really as far back as I can remember. I know my call started in grade school and it was just something that grew with me, even when I didn't want it. I wanted my freedom, I wanted to do what I wanted, and I often tried to ignore this feeling within me telling me that I may need to be a priest. I really feel sorry for the Archdiocese of Denver who has had to put up with me because I keep succombing to the call, getting in contact with them, and then deciding it wasn't for me. I can't even tell you how many times I have told them that it isn't for me and to get out of my life; it is several. I know that is harsh but I told you, I have fought this call. I thought about entering the seminary out of high school but the timing just didn't feel right, maybe due to my own stubborness, I am not sure. Either way, I went to college and made my share of mistakes; once again ignoring my call. Yet, I have finally gotten to the point where I can't keep fighthing but rather I need to start exploring this possibility; I need to know once and for all if I am meant to be a priest. Even though this may not be how I pictured my life, I need to know if this is what God fashioned me to be.
I want to invite you on this journey with me. I will try to keep this blog updated fairly frequently with my journey as I explore the idea of becoming a priest as well as read the many books which the Archdiocese gave me in my last meeting with them. Please forgive me if there are gaps of time in my journal, it is just because I have gotten really busy with school (Notre Dame can do that to you) or once again I am fighting my possible calling. Either way, I will be back soon, I always have been. This is something I must investigate and I won't be able to go on until I know. I look forward to being on this journey with you; please feel free to post any comments or questions in the comments section and I will do what I can to answer them as I go on.
posted by Mike | 2:17 AM
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